The Covid-19 MIQ business self-isolation trial is not a pilot, it's a special exemption

It’s time to talk about the Christmas turkey in the MIQ room.

We are about to run a pilot scheme and allow 150 business travellers and a few on the Government gravy train to exit New Zealand and isolate at home for 14 days on their return.

The lucky escapees are not silly enough to criticise this pilot, question its point or argue the rules. A turkey does not vote for Christmas and every business that succeeded in securing a place just wants to leg it and get the job done overseas.

There are no complaints about the $1000 it costs to not stay in a MIQ room. Most of them would have agreed to another zero on the end of that number to fund this faux-pilot, out of desperation to get back to running their businesses properly.

It is perhaps one of the most pointless and badly designed pilots run by any Government in the world. Should we cancel it? Probably.

Or maybe we should simply tell the truth. This is not a pilot. It’s a special exemption.

These people need to leave New Zealand urgently and because they’re trustworthy and in the control of their employers, they’re low risk and being granted special conditions.

The scheme is not just a relic because New Zealand’s border versus community risk has tilted in recent weeks. It was a relic from the day it was announced.

It’s an exercise in appearing to test something, when none of it translates into real life scenarios or behaviours.

Calling this a “pilot” and a step in “reconnecting New Zealanders with the world” is disingenuous. It is claimed it will test operational readiness and identify how to scale up the approach. Will it?

So 150 people over six weeks (October 30 to December 8) will arrive at the border. They’re all double jabbed, they all live within 50 kilometres of the airport, they all have a separate place to isolate away from their family with no shared ventilation, they all have cell phone coverage and they’ve all got contactless deliveries of food, water and medication ready for their return.

They will also undergo the same Covid-19 tests as someone in an MIQ facility – day 0, 3, 6 and 12 presumably.

And this is a pilot scheme for what? It proves if you can find somewhere to live near an international airport, we can recreate MIQ and get couriers to pick up self-administered PCR tests? It’s one of those no-kidding-sherlock moments.

There are so many real-life self-isolation schemes already up and running around the world.

Schemes which cope with kids, students, those without their own home, those who live rurally and those with no-one to help get food or medication.

There’s no easy answer to these anomalies. It’s based largely on trust and exemptions. We can learn far more from their mistakes and successes than returning our 150 turkeys home in a sealed foil bag.

What we really want the government to tell us is this:

1. We are running a tender for prices of PCR tests for travellers to pay and coming up with a one-price package solution.

2. We are booking lab space to take thousands of daily travel tests.

3. We are setting up production of boxes of test kits and instructions that can be ordered online and mailed to a travellers address.

4. We are ensuring locator forms submitted by travellers have proof of purchase of test kits.

5. We are setting up online registration of a travel test kits before they’re sent to a lab and creating online results.

6. We are writing instruction booklets and getting a website ready on how to self-administer a PCR test and filming online demonstrations.

7. We are tendering for courier pick-ups of travel tests or allowing friends and family to drop off travellers’ tests at Post Offices or drop boxes in each city.

8. We are setting up the software for a call centre and monitoring systems that will be rolled out to check travellers are isolating with methods to report non-compliance and fines.

9. We are deciding how many tests travellers will take (the current number of four is high).

10. We are deciding if travel tests will be run on a trust basis or if the software will link locator forms, test-kit purchase and test results.

11. We are designing rules around whether a whole household has to isolate when a traveller returns and laws to protect the employment rights and schooling of others in the family.

12. We are deciding on any additional testing for those who need to take domestic flights or public transport to get home.

Time is ticking.

It’s fast heading towards the end of October when the window opens for our business travellers.

Will we see them piloting the use of these systems, instruction websites, mail-order test kits and couriers which we’re all going to need to use when our time comes?

If not, what are we testing? And how does this actually apply to Mum, Dad and two kids returning from the UK to Blenheim or your son and his girlfriend coming from Germany with nowhere else to live except your place?

Janine Starks is the author of moneytips.nz and can be contacted at moneytips.nz@gmail.com. She is a financial commentator with expertise in banking, personal finance and funds management.